Another perk was not only did I get to read this book, but several months ago, I was selected to be a part of Jen Hatmaker’s #FortheLove Book Launch Team. Our team consists of 500 very cool, talented, and beautiful people. And now, I am a part of the For the Love Blog Tour along with many other inspiring bloggers. This post is part of Jen Hatmaker’s “For the Love” Blog tour. I invite you to join us, CLICK HERE.
Jen’s book touched upon many topics, but one of my favorite topics concerned marriages. I am passionate about helping couples enrich their relationships and their marriages. I have a heart to SAVE MARRIAGES! My husband and I for the past five years have been blessed to serve as lay-ministers by helping couples in crisis and by helping individuals heal and recover from a divorce. My husband and I have been there and done that, the divorce thing, and let me tell you the pathway leading to divorce is no joke and no fun. We have been blessed to have both been healed and restored in so many ways. God orchestrated details and events for us to meet and today we have been married over eleven years! Our platform is unique. We share with others all we have learned from the past and presently experience; this includes our second marriage and blended family circumstances. FIGHTING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE is worth it, every single time. Learning that Jen and her husband, Brandon, have been married for over twenty years blessed my heart! What a beautiful legacy they have for themselves and for their family. Chapter 12 in her book, “Marriage: Have Fun and Stuff,” had me laughing, smiling, and nodding my head quite a bit. “All due respect to the Resurrection, but two-becoming-one might be the greatest miracle ever.” I agree! Jen shares their “hard-won insights” so others don’t have to learn the hard way.
“You are not good at the same things and this is okay”
God did not create us all the same, that is precisely the point. He created each of us as unique individuals. This means our hubby is not like us and we are not like them! Thank goodness, right! Jen and Brandon have said “that together we make one whole person” and my hubby and I have said this same thing. It is true. You know what? It is okay. Jen says, “In the marriage rhythm, figure out your notes and play them well.” Your marriage is beautiful, especially if you and your mate are each living out your God-given purpose and utilizing your gifts and talents.
Great points made when she discussed honesty and pretending, a time and place for each of them. Share the important stuff, and this includes any hurts or resentments. Rock solid advice!
“Find best couple friends”
Thank goodness my husband and I finally obeyed God in this very area a year ago. Otherwise, this paragraph in her book would have CONVICTED me and for good reason. My sister is speaking the awesome awful truth!!!! Only awful because it may hurt for some of you, I know it hurt for me in the beginning. How so you ask? Well, as an extrovert, I love making plans and going out and meeting new people, for I especially love learning their personal stories! BUT, what scares me to beyond death, is the INTIMACY factor, and this usually is an issue that pops up while getting to know other people, yes, and this means getting to know other couples. “Couple relationships are so vital, I literally cannot imagine our adult life without them.” Wow. Pretty strong words, huh? I am proud of my hubby and me! Since God opened our heart and eyes in this whole find other couple friends project, we now consistently go out to dinner with over five different couples!!! Isn’t that great news? My point, Jen speaks from their experience as a couple married over twenty years and I’m thinking they know a heck of lot and I also believe this was a huge component to the health of their marriage. My hubby and I got the lesson God was showing us…we need other people! We are at the beginner stage of development for the majority of our couple friendships, except for two. God hooked me up with two fabulous girlfriends during my divorce and single woman/mom season. We have been witnesses to God’s restoration in each of our lives and have been honored to share in wedding celebrations! So, I have an idea of the richness Jen is referring to in this chapter. Friendships that endure through the various seasons and circumstances of life are priceless.
I truly admire Jen. She is a brave woman. Her idea of finding “best couple friends” includes going on vacation with these people at some point. Is your heart rate up yet? I can honestly say I am not there yet. I am open for the experience, maybe, someday. What about you? Do you have great couple friends? Do you hang out at all hours? Maybe go on vacation together? Be proud if you do and have hope, if you don’t (yet).
Her words encourage you in a lovely sort of way, to take those steps of faith in all sorts of directions concerning your marriage. I love her honesty and humor!
There is no proof, but I am pretty sure she was speaking personally to me. Did you ever have that feeling? This is usually when God is using the words of another to touch our heart, or convict if truth be told. Jen hit it on the mark; “So few issues are actually worth the argument.” Oh my! It gets better when she said this; “Learn to hold the biting remark, the wounded reaction, the irritated retort.” SAGE words, ones to make plagues for.
“Laughing together is the best marriage offers, in my opinion.” Here is where I started speaking out loud, “Yes, right on sister, right on!” “Fun is powerful glue.” More powerful words! I love doing things with my husband. We have fun together and this has enriched our marriage and our lives.
“Have lots of sex”
Yes, Jen talks about “sex!” You will have to read her book now. Actually, there are many other fantastic suggestions and stories for you to enjoy in her book, #FortheLove. You may purchase the book directly from her website if you like:
You may also check out the book trailer at:
#FortheLove will make you smile and provide fresh perspective on many issues, especially fresh new perspective on your marriage.