Another clinic visit today…had not been feeling well for a few days and since my clinic visit on Wednesday…symptoms progressed…so it was time to seek more help. Breathing treatment helped and I’m sure the meds will help as well.
Honest and raw moment…Easter weekend…I prayed in the middle of the night to my God and asked for an Easter miracle from Him…personally for me….for help…help to change…help to get back up and GO FOR THE DREAMS within my heart….despite circumstances or challenges. They are there for a reason and they have not gone away. On the contrary, it seems and feels like my obstacles have gotten larger…seems even more impossible for dreams within me to even have a chance. The odds are increasing not decreasing. BUT at the same time, my dreams and desire to see them come to pass have only INCREASED…which makes the pain increase due to the dis consonance – the where I am to where my insides wish to be…where God would have me be.
And right after our largest event at work (which was an awesome day and everything went fabulously well, LOVED every part of it) BAM…I get sick…in the middle of a lot of BUSY. Anyhow, I had taken the Monday off…because I knew I would need the rest. I did. I relaxed and went to one of my favorite stores – Barnes & Noble. I still had a gift card to use (shockingly I still had it). I stopped at the shoe store first, because I needed new sneakers. I recommitted to my health goals. In spirit of my fresh commitment to health and to self-love…I browsed Barnes & Noble paying attention to what would revive my spirit and heart. Failing and falling so many times in one area of my life HURTS. Falling down the ditch again is disheartening and discouraging. I was disappointed in myself. Just like I know how special and valued you all are…this is true for me too and NOW I NEED TO LIVE THIS TRUTH OUT. So, up I stand, brushing off the cobwebs. God speaks to me through my primary language – words. His answers to our prayers come right away and slowly manifest in days after. As I started to read some of the many books purchased…the words read were very much like God speaking right to my heart. HE HEARD MY CRIES. HE HEARD MY PRAYERS. I BELIEVED my EASTER MIRACLES would manifest themselves in the days and years to come. I understood that I need TO DO MY PART and totally rely on GOD TO DO THE REST and TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
One of the books purchased was “Girl, Stop Apologizing” by Rachel Hollis. I had never heard of her before this. And then another GOD MOMENT occurred. We record our favorite shows and Picker and Ben are one of the shows recorded. We, as in Hubby and I, had not watched any of the recordings in a while and we just decided to play one or two. A random decision for one of the many recorded shows waiting for us to watch was not very random at all. One of their guests on the show just happened to be RACHEL HOLLIS. Of course, I finished the book in a day or two and listened to her podcast. Years ago, God brought Lewis Howes into my life and I was thrilled to have had the opportunity even meet him in person! He is someone way up on the path I am currently on…he is doing the very things I dream about doing. I am a learner who loves stories and who is passionate about being better every single day. I love being inspired to INSPIRE. I wish to pass on all that I learn and all that has helped me. Now, God is reminding me once again who I am and what His call on my life is, by bringing me yet another person who is living their purpose, someone again who is doing exactly where I someday see myself being and doing. God does that you know. He will speak your language and show you and tell you and help you SEE what HE SEES ALL ALONG. What He intends for you.
The very THING or FEAR that has had be STUCK, God spoke to through the pages of Rachel’s book and then again and more through the very first podcast of hers I listened to. Fear of failure and fear of success. The success topic is coming on a podcast soon, but the fear topic was right on time. As a perfectionist, someone who likes to get it right and do it well, or do it in EXCELLENCE…the grandeur of my dreams is daunting and the not knowing how to do it exactly or how to go about it…caused me to STOP. I stopped showing up to touch my work. Oh, having a new job that provided me with a place and purpose I had been waiting for…was indeed something that delayed my progress. Coming home tired from being mentally challenged and stretched seemed to be a good reason…but I LOVE being challenged because I love learning new things and I love doing beautiful giant projects that involve all of me, all of my experiences and skills and ask me to step up my game. I’M THERE!
Truth has dawned. This is my NEW level of life now. It is time once again, to RISE UP and go HIGHER, which means time for more CHANGE. When we grow and develop and transform, THINGS CHANGE. I had been holding on to certain routines and habits OUT OF HABIT and because I was not ready to go in places not familiar to me. FEAR OF UNKNOWN is real. Rachel’s podcast today revealed truth to my heart. I was not really struggling with fear of failure. Heck, I’m an achiever, I get things done. I accomplish much. This is who I am and have always been. God gives me great visions and ideas and creativity and skills to carry it out. I struggle with fear of what others will say when I do go for it and it flops. I know that success comes after many failures. It is the mistakes that bring you to where you really need to me. My life story speaks to this. I also know this about myself, I know that if I consistently SHOW UP and touch the work of the heart stuff….GOD IS IN IT AND HE WILL DO WHAT HE HAS PURPOSED. That is what scares me. God takes us all of the way OUT of our comfort zones. There is no going back. But the pain of current place…the in-between zone of where I had been and to where God wishes for me to go…IS GREAT ENOUGH for me to SURRENDER once again. He’s in charge. Even if this means, my life is not my own. My schedule is not my own. My routines are no longer serving me and this means THEY MUST CHANGE. So, we are setting up new routines and new habits. The love I show others….I’m on a mission to show myself. This involves making choices of love for my decisions, habits, schedule, who I spend time with, etc.
We do have the power to choose. Time is the same for everyone. We make the time for what is most important. Seasons of our lives change. My season is now asking me to change my evening routine. Show up and touch the work. It will not be easy. I understand this. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. Pursuing dreams is a hard business. I have a website that has not had a new post since I wrote about my mom. This June 2nd, will be two years since her passing. My daily task is to unclutter, spiritually, emotionally and literally and take baby steps every single day towards to dreams and to ENJOY AND CELEBRATE THE PROCESS, no matter how messy or uncomfortable it may be. Things do not happen overnight. Dreams of publishing words of the heart, doing a BOOK TALK video (or heck, maybe even a podcast…or however God wishes to share what He wants to from this heart) will not ever happen if I do not show up. I have to change my expectations for myself. One hour every night or 30 minutes is better than nothing.
So, whatever you are dreaming about…it will never happen if you do not touch things pertaining to your dreams…and touch them often. Just like our bank accounts show what’s really important to us, so does our calendars. It’s time to prioritize…top 5 things and put them FIRST in the calendar. For me, some things are going to be put on hold or removed.
We are meant to do what brings JOY to our hearts. It is different for each of us.
Reading and learning and meeting new people who are doing great things and making a difference in our world brings me GREAT EXCITEMENT…and GREAT JOY. I am all of the books I have read through the years.
Maybe you are already working towards your dream and kicking butt! That’s great. But maybe you lost sight of things and the dust has piled way high on top of what’s most important to you. You are not alone. This is where I find myself too, but together we can STAND UP and CONTINUE ON. It’s never too late to LIVE OUR LIVES FULLY.
Thank you, Rachel Hollis, my sister. My younger sister who is up ahead of me on the path I too have been called to walk on. I too wish to inspire and help others. My mission attests to this; “to inspire, encourage, motivate, and mentor others to achieve their God given purpose.” Your book was one of a few that God used to bring words to my heart…evidence…that He heard me. I have HOPE.
But first, it starts with me. I am not perfect and will never be. I wish to BE the woman who inspires others in ways that truly help and make a difference. If I do not do the work within me, I will not be what I am meant to be. May you and I know how special and valued we are and how beautiful our dreams are, especially as they become reality! Let’s help our dreams to become reality by being and doing who we are meant to be, very single day, starting with this day. Life’s worth living and YOU MATTER. And you know what, I matter too. Let’s DO THIS. My new focus is not on what’s NOT, but on WHAT IS. And for me this IS THE PROCESS. Stepping stones lead us and I choose to take that first step, again, and that’s okay. It is taking the step that matters. My daily health (weight loss goals) and heart dreams (writing projects) take precedent no matter how busy the day is. Changes are happening. I will keep you posted. Join me…Hugs to you!!! Georgette
TODAY’S INSPIRATION; “Girl, Stop Apologizing” by Rachel Hollis, published in 2019 by HarperCollins Leadership. You can discover more about her at https://www.thehollisco.com/